She has grown to love the early hours of the morning. She'd stay awake until 5:30 a.m. and she'd wait for the light of the sun to subtly illuminate the world. Once it did, she'd shut the blinds, and she'd sleep. She'd sleep throughout the most of the day. And she was usually pretty content with that. She began to feel comfortable with her loneliness, it was the only time she didn't have to put up a façade. To pretend the chaos around her didn't bother her so much. She has learn to live in her melancholy and although in a way she hated that, she was reluctant to change the habit. She was scared that if she changed the habit she'd lose what little she knew of herself. She was terrified of facing a swift and moving society, where the majority were too ignorant to care. Her thoughts and fears consume her to the point where she almost felt mad, and although she wanted to be okay, she didn't know how.
Jane Austen, Mansfield Park.
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